Snow globe

Clearing my mind of so many things running through it, I lay on my bed and take slow and deliberate breaths in and breaths out.  Inhale, exhale...inhale, exhale...once again very sloooooooooooowwwwwwwww.  Ahhhhh.  Much better.  The day is dripping off of me like honey off a dipping stick.  I have so many things on my plate right now and most of them revolve around work these days.

To make a long story short, I'm trying to manage my office and begin my strategy for a targeted marketing report when my assistant gives her 2-week notice.  She came to me with tears in her eyes saying she couldn't juggle the job and her personal issues at home.  Sigh.  I got a little insight of some of what she was talking about from her a few weeks ago, and to be honest, I kinda thought it was going to happen, but you know how it goes...you don't think it's really going to happen.  But it did.  I found myself sitting back in my chair behind my desk just looking at her and listening to her explain why she's giving me her notice.  I felt the words forming in my mouth and I even thought I saw a speech bubble form over my head, but I remained silent with my hands folded on my lap until she finished.  What can I say to someone telling me that the job was too much pressure?  Too stressful? I had nothing to say that I could say.  I told her I was sorry she felt that way and that I hoped things would settle down in her life soon.  Again...SIGH.

After she walked out of my office.  I looked over at the candle I'd lit that morning.  I light a candle every day. Not only does it make the office smell nice, but it helps me feel at ease and makes my day seem nicer than usual.  I let myself just sink into my chair and let my mind wander.  It's the day before Thanksgiving and I'm getting ready to go away for the holiday.  What am I going to wear?  What am I packing?  Is it going to be cold over there?  Will it snow?  I'm just thinking thinking thinking about what I need to do, but then the thought of snow just overtakes my head.  A warm smile brushes over my lips and I'm in another place daydreaming of a beautiful landscape with sleeping trees, naked with only white knotty bark and tree limbs bared.  Along the side of the road is a drop off where you can see a little town in the valley down below.

Down in this valley is a quaint white church with a tall steeple and a few big barns with tall silos.  You can see the cows, which look like little black, brown, and black and white dots gathering by the side of the silo.  The hillside is just bare but the rolling hills remember the plush green grass from the previous season and it just lays in wait for the freshly falling snow.  It's just beautiful.  It's just what I need.  It's exactly what I want to see...this kind of peaceful beauty.

After about a five minute reprieve, I took myself back to the day at hand with my candle burning and my thoughts still half way on my daydream.  I plugged away at figures, made a lot of calls, got more calls than I wanted, went out on a few business meetings and came back to work after a bite for lunch.  It had been a really productive day and I'm was so excited to get home, get packed, and get ready to get on the road.

Just the week before, I spent a day with my bff at my mom's house making her Thanksgiving dinner.  She invited her bff to dinner and we all had a really nice time.  Me, my BFF, Mom, her BFF, Chloe, and her Zoe. It was a wonderful day.  Thankful for a great time, wonderful food, and quality time spent with my mom, my BFF helped me make my mom's day special...just what I had wanted.  :)

I got home, had dinner, packed my bags and went to bed.  I felt like it was the night before Christmas.  I was so excited to get away for a few days!  Morning came and I was ready to go.  Chloe's meds? Check.  A list of things she needs for the next few days?  Check.  Cell phone?  Check.  Work cell phone?  Check.  Bags packed, shoes, scarves, my most favorite pair of jeans on and I'm ready for a 5 hour trip away for lots of good home cooking, family, friends, and football!

The trip went without a glitch.  Traffic was wonderful and the time flew by.  We got there safe, sound, and hungry.  The house smelled WONDERFUL.  The turkey was getting it's oven tan while the stuffing in it was just calling my name!  OMG it was just amazing...EVERYTHING was just amazing.  The air was crisp and cold and it was everything that I thought a Thanksgiving should be in this region.  I found myself making up silly songs from nothing, laughing at silly things, and for once in a very long time, I felt completely happy.  I didn't think about anything else...nothing was outstanding, nothing was pending, I was just so content and everything I looked at and every place I went and everyone I spent time with did nothing less than put a smile on my face.

After 3 days and 2 nights, it was time to pack up and come home.  As I was dreading the trip home because it would be too quick and I would soon go back to the drama that's home, the drive and frustration was broken up by snowflakes.  There we are, driving down the highway and the snow falling down...not enough to cover the road, but enough to make it just beautiful around us.  Trees along the roadside, barns and houses, tractors and fields.  It was all so nostalgic and serene.  I looked around to the beautiful landscape that surround me and suddenly felt like I was the center of a snow globe and someone just shook it up to make the snow whirl around me.

I could go on about how the afternoon evolved back at home, but I'm still basking in the wonderful time I had and the sweet memories made...who wants to ruin it with reality?  I sure don't!

After a very long week at work, I sit here enjoying my time on the sofa with the football teams running across the television.  Two days and one night of very important business meetings out of town and I feel overwhelmed with things that are on my to do list.  Every time I get some things crossed out, I put on 5 more things.  This is to be expected though.  It's what they call the learning curve. I'm overwhelmed, but I'm not distraught.  This is a good stress...I'm definitely on the right track.  I have said it before, I'll say it again, I'm blessed.  In so many ways, I'm blessed.

I find myself just sinking into the couch and wishing myself into the cushions.  It feels so good to relax.  So here's my week...  I'm trying to learn the ropes and at the same time, teach my newly hired assistant the ropes too.  It's been wonderful having her there, she helps me with the other things so I can get my work done.  Monday and Tuesday were spent getting prepared for the business meetings.  Wednesday morning at 4:30am, I'm up stressing over whether or not I'll be on time.  I get up, get ready, get packed, and get coffee at Starbucks...ahhhhhhhhhhh Pumpkin spice latte.  Venti, xtra hot, quad shot, no foam, xtra spice, no whip latte from heaven's barrista to my own lips.  EXACTLY what I needed that morning.  The morning was dark and chilled.  Again, it was perfect for my morning coffee.  It took 2 1/2 hours to get there in traffic.  Not too bad for a drive from my place to Gaithersburg.  Actually early by an hour, I went to Panera where I enjoyed a breakfast sandwich and, yes, another pumpkin spice latte (that was really good too).  I went back to the hotel where I tried to check in, but it was too early so I left my things in the trunk and grabbed another coffee and went into the meeting room.  Begin the note-taking process.  I really thought the meetings that day were good.  We took a break for lunch (yummy) and then back to more meetings.  That night Corporate took us to one of my favs...CHEVY'S for dinner.  It was so good!  After dinner, some of us went to another place for some fun.  We went to Dogfish Head and had a REALLY good time with my friends and their spouses and I got in before midnight.

My hotel suite was really nice.  Three large televisions, a full kitchen, 2 bedrooms and a walk-in shower.  I slept so well that when I woke, I actually forgot where I was!  I got up early, got my shower, got dressed and packed to go and then headed out for the complimentary breakfast spread they put out.  Usually, hotel breakfasts are pretty nasty, but this was really good and I really enjoyed it.  Two more cups of coffee and I went into the meetings again.  Of course, the emergency phone that has stayed SILENT decided to ring and I had to deal with a work-related emergency for almost 2 hours.  Fire extinguished and problem solved...back to the meetings and another coffee (now they brought in freshly baked cookies and brownies....ummmm, yeah I had some!  Oatmeal raisin was the best, brownie was second best.  After a round table and a small presentation, we all got to go home around 4:30pm.  It was raining cat's and dogs so I wasn't really excited about driving on the beltway, but I did.  Right about to get to the bridge, my car decided to send me a warning ding telling me that I was about to run out of gas.  So I'm driving, it's wall-to-wall brake lights, idiot drivers all around me, and no gas in my tank.  As a matter of fact, I wasn't even sure I had an exit to stop to get gas.  Luckily, "Samantha," my GPS told me where I could go.  It took me 20 minutes to get 1/2 a block with the traffic and the rain.  I HATE DRIVING IN THE RAIN OVER THE BRIDGE!!!  I got gas and I had to do another 20 minutes for the 1/2 block once again only going in the other direction.  Now gassed up, I am feeling more confidant about getting over the bridge.  Traffic everywhere and better yet, the trucks were playing bully with the cars, I was white-knuckling it all the way to my exit.  Got there and for some reason, it took so long to get off the ramp that I actually got disoriented and didn't know where I was for a short while.  Has that ever happened to you?  It's kinda strange.  For a second, I was almost scared I'd missed something and went the wrong way.  I drove to my familiar routes and found my way down the roads that pointed me to my house.  I was so excited to see my driveway!

After a very productive 2 days in business meeting, I was fresh for getting back to work and "workin" it.  There were 48 voice mails on the main phone and I had 18 on my personal line.  Sighhhhhhh.  My goal, trying to get payroll for my staff done by 2pm.  There were so many things I had to do to catch up before I got payroll done that it was almost 4pm when I got everything uploaded to my accountant.  Sighhhhhh again.  I am convinced that this Friday, it's going to be done early...maybe a day early???  A noble goal.

It was a great time to get away for a day or so.  So I drove out of town and enjoyed time with friends and family.  We had a good time cooking, playing with the new baby (she's almost a year now) and just fellowshipping with everyone.  I had a good time.  I was able to leave my home frustrations behind and forget it so to speak...that is till one of my frustrations decided to text me before 7am.  That's a story that I may never share online, but still one that burdens me nonetheless.  I guess I can say this...people are like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get AND when you get it, it may be totally different than you thought it to be despite the few bites you've experienced already.

I'm home now and the biggest decision to be had now is what's for dinner.  Chinese or Mexican???  Who knows what I'll choose...it's going to be good regardless...it's going to be better because I'm home where I'm safe and with the one(s) I love.

Tapestry of Life

The day is gray and gloomy, but the colors are bright and vivid in my area.  Cobalt, lime, orange...there's a beautiful spray of fall and other vibrant colors all around me.  It's the dying of the old giving way to the birth of the new, but the transition is lengthy and it seems so desolate and lonely while transitioning, but nonetheless, it's a beautiful transformation.

Gone is the Spring where the colors were bright and new and crisp.  The heat of the Summer is gone and now the changing of the leaves gives way to burned oranges and yellow-greens and rusts and sienna.  All these beautiful colors will all burst for a short time to only drop to the ground and lay in silence as the wind catches and takes them away.  It's beautiful and sad all at the same time.

I wonder why it happens like this?  I wonder why the leaves that are so beautiful and so vibrant and so full of color and wonder must fall to the ground and blow off in the wind?  Maybe it's to make way for another beautiful season that is to come?  Maybe it's to break up the seasonal monotony?  Maybe it's a God's way of replenishing and restoring His earth?  A global grooming so to speak.  I like the idea of the latter :)

Whether we're in the blooming of our spring-like days or transitioning in the solstice of our fall or winter, it's still appropriate to live in full color and live it out loud.  Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall...all very different, all very colorful, all very whimsical in their own way.  Each season giving off it's own feeling and texture to the life it brings.  These seasons bring forth a tapestry that weaves into our daily lives and brings forth a beautiful pattern with its very own color wheel...we are so intricately diverse and complex, yet with each diversity and complexity comes a beauty that is simply outstanding!  

I'm never short of amazed at the differences we all hold.  It's like we are all a mosaic.  We in our own selves come to this blank canvas full of different colors, shapes, sizes, patterns, textures and piece ourselves one with another, knowingly or not, together to form a mass art structure that can stand alone or melt together to be something so spectacular that it's just breathtaking! 

Enjoy the pictures and remember that this season will pass very quickly with all of its beautiful and warm colors, but what you do today in this season can stand for years to come!

 

Refreshing

When you think of the word "refreshing," what do you think of?  First thing I think of is a cool glass of water.  The way it hits my mouth and cools me all the way down my throat and into my stomach.  Sometimes, when the water is cold enough, it feels cool into my stomach.  It's just a good feeling.  Thirsty, then you're suddenly satisfied and quenched.  Well, I'm talking about the same only different...not literally thirsty for water and not literally quenched in body. 

The mind and soul and heart are all thirsty and in need of refreshment.  When we're all bogged down and take on all the cares without the time to get a reprieve, you become emotionally de-hydrated and it can even lead to other things that will definately do you harm.  I try to take every day individually and find something, even if it's the littlest thing, that will bring a smile to my face, a sweet memory to mind, a favorite song, the feeling of the sun hitting my face, not too warm, not too cool, just a soothing feeling that makes me feel like I'm really not alone in this world.  Sometimes, God sends us people along our way to make us feel welcome in this world too.  Grab a hold of the one little thing that will make you feel good and don't let it go.  It may be the one thing that gets you through the day or night.

I'm sitting here with Jim Brickman playing in the background, a hot cup of coffee with my favorite seasonal creamer and looking over at a lit candle that's filling my space with a wonderful aroma of pumpkin and spices.  Not the most exciting thing happening in the world, but in my world, it's A-okay!

Until the next blog, take time to not only see the beauty around you, but take it into yourself and let it soothe your soul.  You may be surprised to realize that something so very small can make a huge impact on your heart and mind!

Silver Lining...

There's something to be said about closing one door and opening another.  Seems that's all I've experiencing lately.  Where one thing ends, another begins.  It's true what they say, when something ends, and you think you're going to be crushed in the emotion of it all, another thing comes your way and the elation and relief far outweighs the pain you had felt. 

Lots of things happen all the time.  Why is it that we only notice those things that either hit us right between the eyes for the good or for the bad?  What happens to all the other moments that happen in between?  There's an entire world of things that go unseen and unnoticed and we're none the wiser.  Why do we not notice the small simple things in life?  Rays of sunlight that hit the sky with beautiful hues of pink and orange, but we don't see it...I digress, back to my thoughts.

I guess the transition between the now and the not yet is most emotionally treacherous in the process, but once you transition, you realize that breathing seems easier, sleep is more restful, your mood that was once so solemn is now suddenly much better...everything is suddenly brighter and more vivid than ever before.

I stop to think about things from the past and all of a sudden I don't remember all the things that pushed me away for all the good things that have come my way so far...and all the things that are coming for that matter.  For once in a very long time I feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel.  Everything is finally lining up.  It's like I've been holding my breath for a very long time and now I'm sucking in air like I've been oxygen deprived for ages.

Okay, so I'm sitting here wondering why I'm relaxing on the sofa and watching a movie without feeling the pressure to do anything else.  I finally feel like I can exhale.  One asks themselves when does the proverbial dark cloud get lifted from one's personal atmosphere?  Well, there's no set time and there's no set date for this to happen.  All I know is that when it happens, you feel a sudden burst of relief unlike anything you remember happening before.  That's the space I occupy right now.  I am just breathing taking this all in...too afraid to admit that I'm happy, too scared to forget that it cold be taken away in the blink of an eye...even at my own hands.  Guess I shall wade in the still waters of my life right now and enjoy every minute of this wonderful place.

Fall colors

I was able to away from the everyday hustle and bustle of my area and go to a rural small town where they had a harvest fest.  There were so many things for they eye to see!  Lots of crafty goods and live animals and, oh yes, there was funnel cake!  I saw live goats, baby pigs, miniature horses and lots and lots of people everywhere.  I enjoyed the homemade potato pockets filled with mashed potatoes.  YUM!

Getting around there is like getting around to all my favorites.  I visited a market that serves my favorite soup every Friday, stuffed green pepper soup.  I visited a surplus store and picked up a few things.  All in all, it was relaxing and very beautiful there.  The leaves were just beginning to change and all you could see along the mountain sides were trees with leaves just beginning to turn all shades of yellow, light green, red, coral, all beautiful hues of the most wonderful sunset.

There wasn't anything I missed that I wanted to do.  I hit every one of my favorite things to do, see, and eat and enjoyed every decadent moment!

Chloe waited at home for me.  I missed her a lot, but when I got home, she was waiting there with lots of licks and snuggles to share with me :)

Today, it's raining and the breeze coming in the house is still so refreshing despite the gray clouds and the raindrops pelting lightly over my head on the skylites.  Today is the kind of day that makes you want to curl in a cozy blanket and watch hallmark movies and drink spiced coffee on the sofa with your best friend.

While I sit here sharing, I look out the window and see the trees across the way already starting to change at the caps, Chloe laying on her favorite crocheted blankie sleeping peacefully, and I can hear the rain softly falling on the roof above my head.  It's a quiet symphony right outside my window as I watch the wind moving the trees from side to side in a sort of woodland waltz.  It's truly beautiful and peaceful where I sit.

The beginning of fall, my second favorite season!  Second to it's opposite, spring.  I guess I'm a sucker for colors!  I love the colors of the spring, the bright greens and yellows and how the flowers burst forth with blooming.  In the same regard, there's fall with its burned oranges, corals, rusts and the falling leaves and sweater weather.  Hot mulled cider and pumpkin patches and apple orchards for kids of all ages to enjoy.  I don't know which I love best, but I do know I love the feeling I get when the wind blows as it kisses my cheeks.

Don't forget to find the color in your day and remember to soak it in!

Firsts...

I wonder how it would be to write my random thoughts about this that or the other and have people follow what I'm writing?  Are there people out there that think the same things, feel the same ways, experience the same things?  This I can say; I am passionate about a lot of things and see almost everything...whether or not I will comment on all I know and see is quite debatable, but at least I know I have an opinion about it.


Some say I'm passionate about Chloe.  She's my Yorkie (aka daughter).  She's been my partner in crime for almost 11 years and I love her for keeping her yapper shut...God only knows how much damage she could do divulging my inner-most secrets...she knows it all; the good, the bad, and the sketchy.

I think I'm going to approach this as a venue to get my thoughts out there and let them flow as they will.  You know, little insignificant thoughts that somehow make themselves significant enough to put down in this blog.

Here's what I like:

• getting a great deal
• great finds at the thrift store
• shopping with friends/family
• eating good food with friends/family
• $10 fill a bag days 
• sunny breezy days
• long, beautiful hair
• short, sassy hair
• mascara that doesn't clump
• shoes that don't hurt
• my 11 foot Christmas Tree in the den by the fireplace

Here's what I don't like:

• being unemployed
• feeling hungry when you're trying to go to sleep
• being sleepy after ample sleep time
• people who use curse words as often as the amount of times they took a breath in
• piddle pads that need to be changed
• fish that die from Ick disease
• paying for bad food with bad service

Here's what I LOVE:

• my family (family is not always those biologically associated with you)
• Chloe
• my car
• taking care of those I love
• cooking
• good music
• someone who listens AND hears you and loves you despite all they know about you
• helping someone out and they didn't even know you did
• the food network

So I'm looking for a job and my days are good or bad, sometimes both.  A good friend (someone I consider family) told me that she thinks it's totally appropriate to wear bright lipstick to make yourself feel better when you're feeling crappy.  We'll call it a red lipstick day.  I have lots of those.  I think it's a great idea!

Yesterday, we went on a venture to find something bright to wear.  Nothing bright found, but great finds.  Today, the venture continued and there were great deals had.  17 pieces for $10 and the options were plentiful!  Tomorrow the search continues...wonder what we'll find tomorrow?!

I feel like cooking a great big pot of something wonderful but don't know what.  Really I just love the cooking part and the tasting part and the way the house fills up with all the wonderful smells of good cooking and "home."  I love the look of those around me when they walk through the door and say, "what smells so good!"  Of course I'm procrastinating.  I have a lot to do.  There's laundry that's being neglected, college work that should be done, the futon bed that needs to go into the next room, the dog needs a bath, clothes that need to be put away.  Today, I'm just not feeling it.  Not going to let myself think about all the jobs I'm qualified for but not working at.  Not going to think about the 2 dress sizes I wanna be down to.  Not going to worry about all the "B" items on my prioritized list of things to do...just going to enjoy the breezy day and push the windows open while I sit and soak up all of my thoughts and get them out in this forum.

Until later :)